Entry #47 – Eurovision 2025 (a.k.a Austria to the rescue!)

It’s Sunday and another Eurovision Song Contest is in the rear view mirror. And I guess me making an entry on Eurovision is becoming a biannual tradition here on the blog – I review one year, skip the next and return the year after with batteries recharged and ready to be entertained by two solid hours of music.

That’s the idea at least.

I think the last two times I’ve written an entry on Eurovision have made it relatively clear that I’m not exactly the target audience. So why do I keep turning to it? I dunno, sense of community I guess, getting to cheer and jeer the best and worst picks along with the rest of Europe is a good feeling. Plainly put, I just want to have some fun. And you know what, I definitely had fun watching this year’s participants. There were quite a few more memorable acts this time around, the two hours flew by, and I want to document it right now.

This time around, I’m going to run through the entire batch of finalists, and there will be scores out of ten given for each one.

Norway – Lighter by Kyle Alessandro:

“You couldn’t ask for more.” said Graham Norton once the song had finished.

Mmm, yes we could. Wasn’t too fond of the singer’s dancing at first (in fact, I wrote down that it was giving me Gary Barlow vibes), but he loosened up as time went on. This was a trend setter in terms of visuals though, very impressive on that one, and the show as a whole was a joy to watch from start to finish. To listen to though? Well, we’ll see about that.

Apart from the decent high note though, I did find this to be a bit boring.

5/10

Luxembourg – La poupée monte le son by Laura Thorn:

Maybe sounding like an ABBA-esque tune remoulded for the 2020s helped it considerably, but I enjoyed this one a lot more than most. I’m a sucker for songs that sound like throwbacks, and for confident performers like Laura Thorn who I hope goes far.

7.5./10

Estonia – Espresso Macchiato by Tommy Cash:

Never judge a book by its cover. When the introductory footage began rolling and me and my Mum took our first look at Tommy, she immediately wrote him off as “looking like an incel”. When the song started, we had our heads in our hands. Three minutes later, I couldn’t help but smile a smidge. It grows on you, this song. It was an early reminder to not be such a cynical bastard and enjoy the good times.

6/10

Israel – New Day Will Rise by Yuval Raphael:

No.

0/10

—–

Lithuania – Tavo akys by Katarsis:

Started off with me saying “turn up the mic, we can’t hear you.”

Ended with “never mind, should’ve kept it turned down.”

Katarsis? Stick it up your arse, sis.

1/10

Spain – Esa diva by Melody:

You have to be brave to go on stage in front of a whole watching continent and bare the name Melody – One bum note and you’re finished.

You know that Peter Kay stand-up routine about misheard lyrics? Yeah, we had that problem with this song. We could’ve sworn she was saying “Check out me beaver.”

If Spain really wanted to win this year as Graham said then that wasn’t going to do the trick.

3/10, for unintentional comedic value.

Ukraine – Bird of Pray by Ziferblat:

Another Peter Kay moment, this time we thought the singer was saying he was going to be “buying you pizzas.” It was a very whole-lot-of-nothing performance which could be summed up by the constant strolling back and forth which made us wonder if he was doing a sponsored walk.

Come on Ukraine, you’re better than that.

3/10

Intermission – Sandre Struder:

Douze points!

No seriously, that was better than anything we’ve had so far.

United Kingdom – What the Hell Just Happened? by Remember Monday:

It…wasn’t bad. In fact, it was good. Huh.

I mean, it was frighteningly close to screechy at times but everything came together very nicely and for the first time since I started watching Eurovision, I actually thought we did well (I missed 2022 and Sam Ryder). Good on Remember Monday, they did a grand job and to end up doing worse on the scoreboard than Olly Alexander did is an injustice.

So yeah. Turns out Sam wasn’t a fluke and we can put on a good show at Eurovision. Shame the public disagreed (nul puis, my arse).

7/10

Austria – Wasted Love by JJ:

Did anyone tell JJ the opera house was next door?

Seriously though, even though I didn’t really care much for this song, I have no problem at all with it winning after what was damn near a major PR disaster for the contest.

5/10

Iceland – Róa by Væb:

Throw everything up to and including the kitchen sink into the performance and get it sung by what appears to be Iceland’s answer to Jedward, and you have an effort that I couldn’t help but like.

6/10

Latvia – Bur man laimi by Tautumeitas:

While the costumes were almost definitely a choice (not helped by an image on the Eurovision subreddit of the group with axolotl heads), this was another that seemed to tick all the boxes.

Harmony? Check.

Choreography? Check.

Atmosphere? Check.

It just needed a bit of extra punch but that was all.

Dare I say it, I’m rather enjoying myself tonight…?

7/10

Netherlands – C’est la vie by Claude:

A tribute to Mum is always nice. This started very well when it was just Claude on his own, but once the beat started the song descended into cookie cutter unfortunately.

4/10

Finland – Ich komme by Erika Vikman:

Sadly I missed some of this as I had to take the dog out for a wee. What I did see could be best described as f*cking bananas, in a good way. Finland is always a reliable country in the contest and this year was no exception. All credit in the world to Erika for having the balls to go that high on something that looked so flimsy. Tom Cruise, eat your heart out.

Loved it, loved it, loved it.

8/10

Italy – Volevo essere un duro by Lucio Corsi:

Subtitles? How considerate! Aesthetically, this was my cup of tea. Musically, not so much, it’s the same problems that Norway had except this was dry and drab. Harmonica may be a weakness of mine but it wasn’t enough to salvage this song from an act my Dad dubbed ‘The Beige Stripes’.

3/10

Poland – Gaja by Justyna Steczkowska:

Again, great to watch, not so great to listen to – A key or two too low for my tastes. Good attempt from goth Daenerys, but it ain’t for me.

3/10

Germany – Baller by Abor & Tynna:

Jendrik, come back, all is forgiven.

0/10

Greece – Asteromata by Klavdia:

Barely wrote anything down for this one. Just ‘epitome of style over substance’.

2/10

Armenia – Survivor by Parg:

Saturday May 17th 2025 seemed to be a day of crumbling empires. Here in the UK, we saw Manchester City fail to win the last possible piece of silverware (Well done, Palace, very happy for you), and in Basel the songwriters behind contest winners Tattoo and The Code brought us this.

I was genuinely onboard with this song until we reached the chorus. Then me and my Mum realised this sounded like Vindaloo and we gave up hope.

4/10

Switzerland – Voyage by Zoë Më:

Was Barbra Pravi not available?

Took me a while but I was just about fine with this by the time it finished.

5/10

Malta – Serving by Miriana Conte:

Serving vanilla.

Fine. Next.

4/10

Portugal – Deslocado by Napa:

Repeating what I said with Estonia, don’t judge a book by its cover. However, whereas with that one I was dismissive from the get go, this time I was overexcited because here was what looked like an indie band. And indeed, the song we got was indie, except it sounded like a more reserved piece from X&Y-era Coldplay. Not bad, not brilliant, probably not the right kind of song for Eurovision but it did reach the finals so c’est la vie.

5/10

Denmark – Hallucination by Sissal:

I liked this one, it was a well-needed burst of energy. Although I swear I’ve heard those ‘ooh’s’ somewhere, the answer has been on the tip of my brain for hours now and it’s pissing me off.

6/10

Sweden – Bara bada bastu by KAJ:

Phenomenal.

Call me predictable but this was by far and away my favourite performance of the evening. I have no notes, it just made me smile and giggle the whole way through and you better believe I’m adding it to my playlist.

10/10

Intermission – Waterloo

When I said there’s a sense of community about watching Eurovision, the whole of Europe coming together to have fun, this is what I meant. 36,000 people singing Waterloo? Beautiful.

France – Maman by Louane:

It’s another motherly tribute sung in French. Lovely. Not to take away from Louane’s performance but I guarantee that it’s going to be parodied for a cereal advert within the next five years.

3/10

San Marino – Tutta l’Italia by Gabry Ponte:

Clearly the brief was simply ‘sound Italian’. Mission accomplished. Probably a good thing they didn’t employ the same choreographers as France did other wise the stage would probably have been drenched in meatballs.

Oh, the song? Shit. Next.

1/10

Albania – Zjerm by Shkodra Elektronike:

Did the best get saved till last? Did it shite.

All I noted down was my Mum saying the bloke had a big nose.

1/10

There you go then, that’s my verdict on this year’s Eurovision finalists. I’ve had worse nights. And even if every single song wasn’t worth the time, it’s good to remember this:

“There were 11 other songs eliminated, so if you’re not enjoying the songs tonight, just remember, there were worse.” – Graham Norton.

So. That’s another Contest in the books. See you in Austria.

Oh, and for the love of God, can we not come so close to a controversial shitstorm next time? That televote brought us a gnat’s hair away from a major boycott.

Entry #46 – What I’ve Been Listening To Lately: April 2025 (a.k.a Rekindling Affairs)

When I started doing these once-a-month entries, I had set myself a rule that I would only talk about a song or an album in 100 words or less. Couldn’t do it this time, I had so much to say regarding this month’s selections that confining myself to 100 words was an impossibility. I’d say that rule has lasted as long as Liz Truss did, but that’s old hat at this point. It lasted as long as Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s reunion. Remember that?

Anyway.

I’ve been on my Easter hols this week, which has meant that I’ve had more time to (be arsed to) listen to music. And we’re going to start with a double whammy from the man who claims not to be Jesus, but has the same initials.

Pulp, Spike Island

Well. Hel-f*cking-lo Jarv and co., it’s been a while. Pulp are bringing us More come June and this is the first taste we’ve had of that album. Dubbed by Jarvis as a sister song to Sorted For E’s and Wizz, it won’t scratch that 24-year itch straight away but it’ll grow on you in no time. After a couple of repeats, you’ll be begging for, well, More. It’s almost as if they’d never left.

Between this, Rialto, the Divine Comedy, Suede and Kula Shaker all bringing out new albums this year, it’s safe to say us Britpop traditionalists are eating well this year.

Pulp, Separations

Literally the night before Spike Island came out, I was already on the More hype train and fancied tucking into a Pulp album. Of all of them I was intrigued by Separations, what with it being kind of a transitional phase between early Pulp and the band we know and love. There’s two sides of a coin on here – ballads vs acid house. Side A is a bit plodding but well-written, then along comes the one-two punch of Countdown and My Legendary Girlfriend and it’s an ecstasy-driven kick up the arse for the LP. Growing pains are still present here; the production is at times a little hamfisted and overbearing. Jarvis’ performance is a highlight, but using na-na-na’s to plug gaps in the stanzas gets a bit excessive after a while. But by gum, My Legendary Girlfriend is the band’s first true magnum opus, and if I were Jarv I’d have to light a cigarette every time I finished singing that song.

Yellow Magic Orchestra, Solid State Survivor

The algorithm’s monthly contribution (This time Instagram, after I finally managed to convince it that I wasn’t interested in financial advice, wedding dresses, and praying) brought me back to the land of the Rising Sun. While February’s Casiopea had been pioneers of the jazz fusion movement, we have YMO to thank for picking electronic and even techno out of the future. While the 80s hadn’t quite arrived yet, the synths are definitely the kind you’d hear in an arcade, continuing my theory that any and all Japanese music can be seamlessly inserted into a main menu of a video game. Germany had Kraftwerk, Japan had YMO.

Iggy Pop, The Idiot

Every ghost comes back to haunt us sooner or later and I had a bad night of anxiety earlier this month. When that happens, a classic is needed to ward it off and get the brain back in the game. The Idiot certainly qualifies, and with it being the sister album to my favourite Bowie LP it seemed like a good shout. While I know it in no way it is a good representation of Iggy Pop’s overall career (Having repeatedly listened to Lust For Life as a toddler and made the CD jump as a result of all my bouncing), it is undoubtedly one of the defining moments for post-punk and should be accredited as such.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Tender Prey and The Boatman’s Call

I kind of fell out of love with Nick et al. last year – Other things were piquing my interest. Then me and a colleague at work both gushed over how Abattoir Blues/Lyre of Orpheus is a career highlight of the band and before you know it, they’re an itch I wanted to scratch again. I settled on Tender Prey as it was my first instinct that was then affirmed by a random number generator. The tone of this album is very reminiscent of Berlin Trilogy-era Bowie (no doubt helped by it being partially recorded in the same studios), except here the cold claustrophobic atmosphere and feeling of hopelessness is tinged by gothic tidings and the occasional harmonica (Looking at you, Watching Alice). Indeed, that hopelessness is boosted by the multitude of shit that the Seeds were dealing with, top of the pile being Nick and his needles. Read about the making of this album and you’ll understand it’s a minor miracle that Tender Prey even exists. Oh, and The Mercy Seat? It goes on and on, but it’s too awesome in its ragged rawness for you to care.

And then I decided I wanted to kill my joy, or at least suffocate it with another man’s bare-naked emotions. F*ck, The Boatman’s Call is an excellent album. Depressingly beautiful, it lulls you in and keeps you there, Nick holds you tight so he can share the pain in his heart and expel the ghost of PJ Harvey. It’s tough and one must steel themselves when working through all 12 tracks to avoid getting a lump in the throat. But it’s a rewarding experience, and a testament to the Bad Seeds’ ability to effortlessly strip off their dented goth-punk armour when the situation calls for it. What a difference ten years makes (And would make after another decade passed – I nearly went with Dig Lazarus Dig!!! instead. Glad I didn’t frankly).

Arctic Monkeys, The Car

I don’t know why but a mood took me where I wanted to hear latter-day Arctic Monkeys. Verdict? Decent. It proves a band doesn’t need to make loud and proud rock all the time, and they can make music that shows they are growing and maturing if they so wish. Take notes, Sheeran.

The Smiths, The Queen is Dead and Strangeways, Here We Come

I want to like the Smiths, I really do. But there’s something in me that just refuses to click with them, and it’s infuriating quite frankly. I know they’re great, but it’s like I go in expecting them to be great (what with their status as the Gods of indie), and they are just good. The Queen is Dead was a perfectly pleasant listen, and I was more on board with the slightly harsher sound of Strangeways, Here We Come. But God almighty, those growling sounds Morrissey insisted on making in the early tracks on the latter album were like nails on a chalkboard. Maybe I’ll try them both again in the near future and get back to you.

Entry #45 – What I’ve Been Listening To Lately: March 2025 (a.k.a This is a regular thing now, so naturally I’m posting this three days late)

I’ve been on more familiar ground for the past month, not straying too far from the beaten path as work becomes more intense the closer summer approaches. That familiarity can keep you stable and lord knows music is good at harnessing your emotions in this day and age.

Anyway, I guess that’s me saying in a very wanky sort of way that there are no surprises in my playlist for March 2025:

Radiohead – In Rainbows

Run from it, hide from it, the Radiohead rabbit hole beckons all the same. And yes, I am one of those normies who say that In Rainbows is their favourite album, but do you blame me? I know Jigsaw Falling Into Place has become TikTok cannon fodder, but I still love that song to bits (full thoughts here: https://asideglance.com/2020/09/18/entry-4-jigsaw-falling-into-place-a-k-a-i-accidentally-started-to-like-radiohead/ ). 15 Step is an energetic but traditionally sinister opener, Videotape is a heartwrenching closer, and between them you have some of the band’s finest work like Bodysnatchers and Nude. Can never leave this album alone for too long.

Paul Weller – Heliocentric

Paul has gone on record saying he isn’t too fond of his 2000s output, and I think Heliocentric is a shining example of why. It’s an album that never truly gets going, the first two thirds of the album all coast along at the same mid-tempo pace, and by the time you reach a proper rocker in the form of There Is No Drinking, After You’re Dead, you’ve stopped giving a toss. The singles are fine though – He’s the Keeper is a good track and Sweet Pea, My Sweet Pea is, well, sweet, but that’s about where it ends for me. It’s all so frustratingly restrained. Far from the Modfather’s finest work.

Steven Wilson – The Raven That Refused to Sing (and Other Stories)

I must admit that I found this one through TikTok but it goes to show that once in a while, an algorithm can recommend stuff that isn’t a waste of thought. The title compelled me, the genres of prog rock and jazz fusion brought me in, and I had a good enough time with this album, with its swaying tales of televangelists and watchmakers. I may have to give it another go to fully appreciate it (I was drifting off after a long night of work) but you only get one chance to make a good first impression. This one succeeded.

The Beatles – Let it Be…Naked

I listened to Let It Be for the first time last year. Didn’t hate it, not a bad album. Shame most of the la’s thought differently, thanks to Phil Spector’s wall of sound, which is what led me to put it up against the Naked version that Paul helped put together in 2003. And honestly? I prefer the original. I think the grandiosity of Spector’s version is what made me enjoy the album in the first place. Songs like the title track and Get Back hold up fine without the window dressing, but others like I Me Mine don’t. I get that it was originally meant to be a back-to-basics album, but there is such a thing as too basic. Ain’t broke? Don’t fix it.

The Kinks – Face to Face

If you’re going to listen to the Beatles, you have to give the Kinks the time of day as well. This is another album I stuck on after a stressful day at the office, mainly because I knew it was the one that had Sunny Afternoon on it. Love that song. The rest of the album was excellent too, Party Line, Dandy and Holiday in Waikiki being particular highlights. And apparently, this is just when the Kinks really started getting good. I think Arthur might be a good shout for next month.

MOOON – III

And who said the 60s was dead? I came across this Dutch three-piece when I was looking up who was playing the Cluny in Newcastle, and they are right up my street; psychedelic rock with heavy influences from bands such as the Who and Small Faces? Shut up and take my money! A band so heavily trapped in a time warp could be argued as being unoriginal and playing to nostalgia but MOOON’s charm can easily win you over, if not in their music (available in mono for that authentic 60s touch!), then definitely in their music videos. See below:

The Molotovs – More More More

Speaking of bands who could be accused of drawing too heavily from their influences, the Mod-tinged Molotovs have been eagerly anticipated for ages now and they have finally released their debut single (and it’s this week’s number one on the vinyl charts, happy days!). The bitterness and noise of punk runs through this song’s veins and its anthemic stylings are surely going to turn heads as we inevitably approach the band’s first LP. It’s early days, but they are certainly promising.

Welly – Big in the Suburbs

But this debut LP has just arrived, and has snuck its way into this entry just in time. Welly are an up-and-coming indie band who have brought us an album that is caked in Britishness – The lyrics name dropping supermarkets, types of houses, and larger-than-life characters off the street.; the front cover and merchandise evoking iconography any average motorway hopper/DVLA employee will be familiar with; the vocals of what sounds like the love child of Damon Albarn and Ed Gamble, with his observant eye scanning over modern-day Britain in a manner similar to Parklife and Different Class. Britpop for the Terrible 20s. Just what the doctor ordered.

Oasis – Standing on the Shoulder of Giants

It turned 25 this year. It got re-released with nothing new whatsoever. I listened anyway. And I think some of my opinions have changed since I last spoke about this album during lockdown. Watch this space…

Entry #44 – A Selection of What I’ve Been Listening to Lately (a.k.a Insert obligatory GTA San Andreas meme here)

Hello again. Been a while. I’d love to chalk up the gathering of dust upon this blog to me suffering some personal issues, or travelling the world, or becoming the target of a countrywide manhunt. But if the truth be told, I’ve just been juggling work and lazyitis. Saying that though, life can change rather drastically in the space of a year can’t it? The real world outside our windows is increasingly going to shit so the natural response is to bury ourselves deep in our record collections, hoping that all will be OK (And it will, don’t worry. If you don’t believe me, listen to all 10 minutes of All Around the World by Oasis. Oh, speaking of, they reunited. See, things aren’t entirely shit, are they?).

At least, that’s what I’ve been doing as of late.

I’ve also been trying to expand my tastes. I am and always will be a perennially Britpop kind of guy but it gets less and less fun hearing the same kind of music over and over. You need to vary things up once in a while. That’s what I’ve been trying to do as a kind of/sort of/not quite New Year’s resolution, and so far I think it’s working out quite well. That’s why, as a way of blowing away the cobwebs and bringing back A-Side Glance, I want to tell you about a selection of albums I’ve listened to lately. I’m only going to restrict myself to about 100 words or so per paragraph, as there is some stuff in this list that I do want to write full blown reviews on down the line.

So with all of that in mind, here’s a chunk of what I’ve been listening to lately:

Bjork, Homogenic

I’ve been wondering where to start with Bjork for a good long while now and Homogenic is one that often has its praises sang. And I can understand why, Bjork brings a comforting kind of mysticism in an album that might sound a bit flat musically on first listen, but that allows the fluttering appearances of strings to stand out all the more. I might need to try other albums like Post to really get to grips with Bjork’s style but the fact that I want to do just that is a good indicator.

David Bowie, Station to Station

Low is my favourite Bowie record, but its predecessor truly gives it a run for its money. With fascism becoming a thing again, I figured it might be an idea to let the Thin White Duke espouse the romantic side of it. And I know that Bowie was at his lowest ebb physically and mentally, but that doesn’t stop me from being captivated by the Duke. His cold nature adds a frosty layer to his romantic proclamations, highlighting how he is not a man fit to love. Wild is the Wind may not be written by Bowie, but his tortured performance makes it truly his.

Can, Tago Mago and Kraftwerk, Trans-Europe Express

To go from Station to Station, you must take the Express. Kraftwerk may be most famous for Autobahn, but Trans-Europe Express is the apex of their work – Stabby synths, tinny vocals, melodies that won’t leave your head in a hurry. Ja, indeed. After that, I stayed on the Krautrock train and checked out Can, seeing as they were classed as the pioneers of the sound. I like it when it sounds like musicians are moulding the music they make like clay, and that is exactly what Can do on their debut. Ja, again.

Fishmans, 98.12.28: Otokotachi no Wakare

We go now from 70s Germany to 90s Japan with this, what is honest to God the best live album you will ever hear. No, not hyperbole. Dream pop and all the wonder within laid down by a band determined more than ever to get it absolutely perfect, as this was their last show before bass player Yuzuru Kashiwabara departed. And then it turned out to be the last show for Fishmans as a whole, as singer Shinji Sato passed away weeks later. But for a closing statement, intentional or otherwise, you will find nothing finer, no band more determined to get it right. Well, almost nothing…

Casiopea, Casiopea and Mint Jams and Himiko Kikuchi, Flying Beagle

Staying in Japan for a hot second though, I went through a phase where I found myself loving their jazz fusion movement. This might be a hangover from listening to the Ridge Racer Type 4 soundtrack (See here: https://asideglance.com/2020/12/07/entry-13-sampling-soundtracks-i-ridge-racer-type-4-a-k-a-hey-its-a-new-record/ ). But these are two of the best to do it, Casiopea especially as they proved they could do it in the studio and on the stage and not put a foot wrong. And Kikuchi just brings plain joy to the world with Flying Beagle. If you’re on a long drive, stick these on, you’ll be home before you know it.

George Harrison, Brainwashed

When I decided to listen to some George Harrison, my head told me to turn to All Things Must Pass or Living in the Material World. But that would be too easy, too passe. I wanted to give his posthumous album, his last words on the material world, a listen. And am I glad I did because this is easily one of the best albums I’ve listened to. I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish, to the point where almost every song on the LP is now in my personal playlist. It may be a bit on the nose at times, but that’s George for you. Once he had your attention, he’d make damn sure you listened.

Rialto, No One Leaves This Discotheque Alive

And so we come full circle back to Britpop with a new single, Rialto’s first in nearly 25 years. And it’s like they never left. It’s early days yet but I get the feeling this’ll be in my top five most listened to songs on Spotify come the end of 2025. It’s an ear worm, it’s inescapable, it forces you to leave a piece of yourself with it…just like the eponymous discotheque. Rialto maintain that sinister undercurrent and their affinity for melodrama they should have been so well-known for. Production techniques might have changed over the past quarter-century, but the band’s talent certainly hasn’t been lost to time.

Entry #43 – Liam Gallagher & John Squire (a.k.a Bugger it, I should’ve called this Shrug of the Shoulders of Giants!)

Liam Gallagher and John Squire, despite being two of the best musicians of the modern age, have been victims of their own monumental success. Be Here Now and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants were slagged off for not matching the lofty heights of Definitely Maybe and Morning Glory. Second Coming was dismissed for not being a patch on The Stone Roses. You raise the bar too high, the audience is going to loudly say you’ve missed your mark.

And now it seems that history has repeated itself.

When it was announced that the two were going to be releasing a record together I think it’s safe to say folks of the 90s were preparing for the second coming of Christ in album form. Oasis meets Stone Roses, the Mancunian snarl meeting the spaced-out guitars of Madchester’s finest. We all knew it was going to be number one from the word go with ten bangers on the way for spring.

Or rather we hoped. What we have ended up with was probably going to be a disappointment regardless of how good it truly was. All the hype set the bar too high. Or maybe it’s a case of the two coasting along, knowing that whatever they put out is going to be lapped up. Whatever the case this album has not been well-received. Some have loved it, others have crapped on it.

Me? I dunno, I still need to figure out what this album truly is, if it is a misunderstood masterpiece that will be vindicated by history a la SOTSOG, or if it is, by Gallagher and Squire standards, shit. I haven’t listened to it in full since release day. Let’s try it again.

Track #1 – Raise Your Hands

Off to a good start. Liam sounds good and John is given the last 30 seconds to have some fun on the guitar. Little tease of the solos you need to get used to whenever he’s in town. A bit pop-leaning but one that would get the crowd at a live show pumped up. Can’t complain really. One down, nine to go.

Track #2 – Mars To Liverpool

Love that opening line, I honestly think it’s up there with “Son, I’m thirty, I only went with your mother cos she’s dirty” from Kinky Afro. Arguably should’ve been the lead single, this. It’s one you can’t get enough of.

Track #3 – One Day At A Time

Acoustic is a little refreshing, shame it gets swallowed up and is never heard from again for the rest of the album. Oh and sound the lyric alarm because we have this corker: “You should’ve f*cked me when you had the chance”. Bit try-hard and out of place.

Track #4 – I’m A Wheel

The most recent single. Was it worth bothering to make it so? Mmm. Yeah, definitely. Very bluesy. I approve. Mind you, I had to stop and check I hadn’t imagined Liam singing “There’s blood in my custard”. To me that’s a lyric that you put in something akin to I Am The Walrus, not a stomper like this. But hey, it’s one small misstep. I’m enjoying myself a lot more than when I last listened to the album. Will the good times keep rolling?

EDIT: Sorry, make that two missteps, I missed “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for”.

Track #5 – Just Another Rainbow

In terms of music itself this album has excelled for me so far and this is arguably the apex – The guitarwork and production sends you sky high in a psychedelic haze and I’m all here for it.

Unfortunately, in terms of lyrics so far this is the nadir. Let’s get the obvious out of the way, listing the colours of the rainbow is just daft. Forgive me for referencing a Beatles song two times in a row but that should be for a children’s song like Yellow Submarine. This is not a child’s song.

I still like it though. As with I’m A Wheel, it’s just one questionable part of a song that I’d happily listen to over and over.

Track #6 – Love You Forever

It’s at this point I get worried we might be setting up a formula. Verse-chorus-verse-chorus-fill in the blanks with guitars solos and chorus. I hope we’re not about to get complacent as I feared might happen.

As for the song overall, not a lot to offer frankly. It’s a bit Seahorsey but that’s all I can really say.

Track #7 – Make It Up As You Go Along

This one offered something though…to TikTok, for all of a week. Seriously, “Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, and f*ck you too” was all over the place and then it was gone. That sodding ‘Oh no-no-no’ tune still lives on but this doesn’t? Sacrilege.

Anyway, notice how I have nothing else to talk about with regards to the song. It blows by like a fart in the wind. Doesn’t even stick around long enough for you to process it. I have a strange feeling that this is setting the tone for the rest of the album, and why I wrote it off as ‘OK’ last time I listened to it.

Track #8 – You’re Not The Only One

Rolling Stones meets George Harrison. “Something in the way she smiles”? I mean, come on. This song does rock though, all credit to Squire and the band who are hard at work here. We’re back on winning form.

Track #9 – I’m So Bored

Well that was shit. Next.

Track #10 – Mother Nature’s Song

I challenge you to say the riff doesn’t remind you of Octopus’ Garden without laughing.

The beat’s practically the same as Raise Your Hands.

It’s a bog-standard hippy anthem. Saccharine. Sorry lads, you’ve lost me.

Conclusion:

If we go by the songs I like and subtract the songs I dislike then the album has an average score of 6/10. That’s at least two below what it should be.

The first half of the album is brilliant and exactly what you expect and want from two heavyweights of rock n roll like Liam and John. They sound tremendous on vocals and guitar respectively. But I honestly think that first half is all they had in the tank. Hell, the fact that all four singles make up the bulk of that first half indicates just how big the dip in quality is from Just Another Rainbow onwards.

If this album was an EP made up of Hands to Rainbow, it would’ve been adored universally. But I think they realised they had to make more, as the second half is lyrically bland and relies too heavily on whatever they can find in their record collections. I like 60s sounding stuff, but when it sounds original. I know it gets harder to be original with each passing year but again, this is Liam Gallagher and John Squire. They should know better than to switch to autopilot.

It might very well be misunderstood, after all music is subjective. But my opinion is still the same as it was last time I listened to it. It’s fine, but not the masterpiece it promises to be. Just fine. Is it worth spending £80 just to hear these songs live, plus Jumping Jack Flash? No. You’d have been better off saving your coppers for the Definitely Maybe tour.

Thing is though, regardless of my own personal feelings, this album is always going to be a historic one for me. This is the first album I have ever got on the day of its release. Nothing’s going to change that.